Merry Freakin' Christmas
by girlovesmoosey
Summary: Some girl follows Zim home on Christmas Eve. And she teaches Zim what Christmas is all about! T 'cause im paranoid. idk why, trust me girlovesmoosey isn't like dat :1


"Stupid, filthy Earth holiday." Zim hissed, walking to the couch and sitting beside Gir who was constructing a gingerbread house.

"Hi, mastah!" Gir said happily. "I'm making a gingerbread house where all my little gingerbread friends live!"

"Mmhmm…" Zim said. He pulled out a laser and shot the gingerbread house.

"W-why did you do that, master?" Gir asked with tears in his eyes. "I was almost done."

"No!" he said. "Christmas is nothing to me!"

"B-but…"

"Now go do something constructive." Zim said.

"But Christmas is tomorrow and I wanted to-"

"GIR! Go do something constructive. I think I'm going to go for a walk." Zim said, putting on his disguise and walking out the door. It was snowing and Zim didn't like it. It was so empty. Cars weren't even driving on the road.

He could have sworn he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see no one.

"Humph." He said and continued walking.

He heard them again and turned to see nothing except for the trees. He stood there, waiting for someone to come out from behind one.

He saw someone's shoe poke out, which was followed by a girl. She seemed to be about twelve. She had blue hair and green eyes.

"You dare stalk the ALMIGHTY ZIM?"

"I-I'm sorry…" she said softly. "I…just wanted to ask you if you had a few dollars…"

"MONEY? ZIM GIVES NO MONEY! WHY WOULD YOU NEED MONEY?"

"Um…well…" she said, twiddling her thumbs. "You see, a few days ago, my family left me and I don't have money for food… or anything…"

"Too bad! Zim has no money!" Zim exclaimed. He continued walking and heard footsteps behind him so he stopped and turned around.

"Do not follow the almighty Zim! I need to go home!"

She stayed silent and kept walking behind him. He turned yet again and placed his hands on his hips.

"Why do you continue to follow Zim, you blue-haired anime character?"

"I-I don't understand…" she said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means…ah… leave me alone, alright?" He said.

She took the whole "anime character" thing as an insult.

"You know, it is almost Christmas and I had expected a little bit of generosity." She said in an irritated voice.

"Fine." He growled, rolling his eyes. "Merry freakin' Christmas. Happy?"

She stayed silent and Zim thought she had finally stopped following him. That was until he went to his house and she somehow was sitting on his couch beside Gir who was still upset about the whole gingerbread thing.

"How did you get here? Go away!" Zim screeched. The girl looked up at Zim and stood up.

"Your dog let me in." she said. "He's nice."

She pet Gir's head a little and began to walk towards the door.

"W-wait…" Zim said reluctantly. "Okay, you win. You can stay until the day after Christmas, okay? But no disturbing me, crawling into my toilet, or messing anything up."

"Got it." She said, a small smile on her face.

"I'll be in my toilet. Don't bother going down with me. If it's an emergency, send Gir down."

"But what if the emergency has to do with…Gir and I can't send him down?" the girl asked.

"In that case, just shout something down the toilet and I'll be there." He said rolling his eyes and leaving.

She looked at Gir who was building a new gingerbread house. She decided to help.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" she asked the strange green dog.

"Nothing." Gir said sorrowfully. "Mastah said I'm not allowed to celebrate it."

"Oh. Why not?"

"He just hates Christmas." Gir said. He continued building the new house.

"I love this gingerbread house so far." She said with a grin. They stuck all the pieces together with icing and just needed to decorate it.

"So…what's your name?" Gir asked.

"My name is Joanna." She said.

"I like that." He said happily.

"Have you ever celebrated Christmas?" she asked.

"Yeah, once when master tried to destroy the Earth at the same time."

"Hmm…" Joanna said. "What if we surprised him by decorating his house?"

"We should!" Gir exclaimed happily. "It would make him so happy!"

"What's your master's name?" she asked. (A/N: Didn't Zim announce his name enough?)

"Zim. Mastah Zim." Gir said with an excited giggle.

"Okay. It's settled." She said, standing and admiring the job they had done on the gingerbread house. "Well, I'll go get the tree. You decorate around the house."

"Okay!" Gir screamed. He gave her money to buy the tree and stuff.

Joanna walked out the door and into the snow. She went down to where they sold trees outdoors.

"I want that tall beautiful one right there." She said. She put her hand into her pocket and pulled out some money.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas!" the man said. "But are you sure you can carry that?"

"Y-yeah, I'll be fine." She said, dragging the huge tree along the snow. She brought it back to the house. The house was adorned with the cutest streamers and things.

"I-I love it!" she said, bringing the massive tree into the house. She went back outside to buy ornaments and lights for the tree. She bought something small for Gir and Zim afterward. She went to the store and bought as many as she could carry.

"I'm ba-ack!" she sang, bringing the ornaments into the house.

"Cool!" Gir said. Gir helped Joanna put the ornaments and lights on. They plugged it in and it was beautiful. Joanna held the star up and tried to put it on the tree but she just couldn't reach it. She kept trying. She stood on the arm of the couch and lunged forward. She slipped over her own feet and fell face first on the ground.

"Ow." She giggled.

"W-what was that?" she heard Zim say as he came up from the toilet. He saw the tree. The streamers. Everything.

"S-surprise?" Joanna said, getting up off of the ground.

"Human pig smellie, WHAT did I say about causing a commotion?" Zim asked.

"Noting. You said no disturbing you, crawling into your toilet, or messing anything up. I abided by those rules."

"Why did you decorate my house all Christmassy?" he asked with a shudder.

"We wanted to make you happy!" Joanna said with a smile.

"Humph. Alright, you got your kicks. Now clean it up, human."

"My name is Joanna and Gir and I worked hard on this." She said.

"Yeah. Now take it down or you're going right where I found you."

"O-okay." She said, looking down.

"Now." He demanded.

"Oh…and one last thing…we made you this." She said, holding up the finished gingerbread house. He picked it up and examined it.

"Hmm…" he said. "It looks…kind of good."

He took off a piece of the roof and bit into it.

"T-this isn't half bad…IT'S DELICIOUS!"

Joanna and Gir smiled.

"But if this-" NOM "…If this is some kind of peace offering…it-it's not working."

"It's not. Just a little something from us to you." Joanna said with a smile.

"You mean…you give things to people you don't know? You are one strange human." Zim said, devouring the rest of the gingerbread house.

"Well…?" Joanna said.

"I give." Zim said. "You can decorate for Christmas, Jo-human."

"That's Joa-"

"But as far as my wonderful knowledge goes, I'm pretty sure you're missing something…" Zim said.

"Oh. The star on the tree? Gir and I are way to short to reach it." She said, with a small giggle.

"Okay." Zim said. "Pick up the star then."

"But I-I can't reach-"

"Just do it." Zim said. Joanna picked up the star. Zim grabbed onto her and lifted her to the top with his PAK legs. She carefully put the star onto the tree.

"That was cool! Can you teach me how to do that?" she asked.

"It's a…hereditary talent or whatever you humans call it." Zim said. "Yeah, that."

"Your house is so fun!" she exclaimed. She hopped onto the couch with a smile.

"Uh…thanks…" Zim said.

Joanna was getting a little sleepy. Her eyes drooped a few times but didn't close. She wanted to stay up with her new friends.

Zim laughed at this foolish human's attempt to stay awake.

(He secretly found it kind of cute.)

She yawned and lied down.

"You're tired." Zim said. "The blankets and pillows are in the hallway closet."

He looked down at her and she was already asleep.

Gir lied down next to her and did the same while Zim went down to his lab.

The next morning, Joanna woke up to Gir nudging her.

"Wh-what's up?" she asked.

"You have a present under the tree!" he said happily.

Joanna hugged Gir.

"You have two things." She said happily. Gir opened his gift from Joanna. It was a $20 gift card to the Krazy Taco.

"Thank you!" he said, hugging her. He opened his next present. Surprisingly, it was from Zim.

"Oooh…" he said. He opened it and found a pink rubber piggy. He loved it just like any other rubber piggy.

Joanna smiled and opened her present. She opened the box and found…a metal box? It had a red button on the side and she pushed it. The box opened and became flat out popped the cutest panda bear necklace.

"I know it's not much but hey, at least the box is fancy."

She turned around to see Zim. She stood up, ran over, and hugged him tight.

"This is the best Christmas ever!" she said.

"Put it on." Zim said. Joanna put the necklace on and the panda began to glow. Then it began to sing "Merry Freakin' Christmas."

Joanna giggled. She picked up the fancy box and found a tiny note in it. It said…

_BTW, human, you're welcome to stay at Zim's for as long as you wish._

She was smiling so much, it hurt her face.

"Thank you!" she said happily, hugging Zim.

"No problem." He said with a smile. After a single day, he was quite fond of this new girl.

"Are we doing anything about Christmas dinner?" Joanna asked.

"I don't know how to make that." Zim said with a weak smile.

"I'll go to the store." She said. Gir handed her more money and she left. (Who knows how Gir obtained it…)

She looked around and most of the stored were closed. She went to Ralph's and it was the only store that was open. She picked up a ham, stuff for green bean casserole, yams and marshmallows, a pumpkin pie, a turkey, and stuffing. She carefully carried everything back.

"OOOH!" Gir exclaimed. "I KNOWZ HOW TO MAKE A TURKEH AND A HAAAAAM!"

"Cool!" Joanna said. "You go put that in the oven and I'll go get everything else ready."

She happily prepared the rest of the food. After hours, everything was done.

Zim (Well of course, he went without ham or turkey) took a bite of his food.

"Filthy human with your…ADDICTING FOOD THAT YOU MAKE!" Zim screamed. Joanna laughed.

"You're so funny." She said with a smile.

They soon finished their food and their pie. Joanna was sort of sprawled over the couch afterward.

"That was tiring." She said.

"Yeah." Zim said with a smile. His smile widened into an evil grin and he went to the fridge.

"What are you doing?" Joanna asked, sitting up. Zim got a paper plate, put a ton of whipped cream on it, and threw it at Joanna with an evil laugh. Joanna, too, put on an evil grin. She made her way to the whipped cream and did the same, throwing it at Zim. Gir threw one at each of them and it became a whipped cream fight.

Oh, yes, this lasted a long time.

But what stopped it?

Joanna was ready to hit Zim hard with the whipped cream. She knew he was vulnerable at the time. But before she threw one at Zim, Gir did, and this knocked off his wig.

Zim saw his wig fall to the ground. He then looked up at Joanna.

"That's…new." He said. Joanna still had a surprised look on her face. She was taken aback.

"WE CAME FROM PLANET IRK! THAT'S WHY MY MASTAH'S AN ALIEN!" Gir screamed. Joanna looked at Gir, then back at Zim.

"That is so…SO COOL!" she exclaimed. Zim put his wig back on.

"Don't you dare tell anyone. If you do, you don't wanna know what I'll do to you."

"Your secret's safe with me. Besides, either way, we're like BFFLS now, right?"

"BFFL?" Zim asked. "What's that?"

"Best friends for life!" Joanna said happily. She was covered in whipped cream but she still sat on the couch and curled into a little ball. She was tired.

"Jo-human?" Zim asked.

"Huh?" Joanna asked sleepily.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Are you kidding? This was the most fun I've have in so long." She said, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

"Merry freakin' Christmas." Zim said with a grin, wiping a bit of whipped cream off of his invader uniform.

**THE END! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Oh, Joanna MAY appear in some other stories or a new one. If she's in a new one, it'll take place after Christmas, this Fic. If she appears in another story, odds are, she won't know Zim at all. But anyway, I want reviews for Christmas!**


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